I think this was the hardest realization for me, when Chris told me he was leaving me, 2.5 years ago. The idea that everything we worked toward and achieved, together, ended the instant he said so is still hard to believe, at times. But…it really did.

The real hard truth was after that. When I had to start fending for myself and my girls, looking for a place to live that wasn’t our “home”, THEN-finding out he moved HER into our home the day we moved out of it.

Knowing nobody in this entire state, other than my coworkers and members from my old church made me feel like less than the speck I was.

When he decided to quit his job though, THAT is when the truth started becoming even more clear. He had to stop paying what he told the judge he would pay and, when it came time to renew my lease, last October, I couldn’t. Which has made these past 6 months the hardest, but best lesson I have ever been taught.

The Earth, in fact, does not revolve around me and neither do the decisions others in my life make. I am not part of anyone’s, “forever”, plan and refuse to be part of their temporary one.

I reluctantly, but eventually started to understand that if I am going to survive this hell, until I make it to Heaven, I will have pray more and allow the Holy Spirit to guide me (and actually listen to it, this time).

This is where I am now and feel at peace. Still homeless and alone, but I am hopeful and have faith that amazing things will be happening soon.

I love you guys and hope you realize, sooner than I did, that you don’t need someone else to save you. We’ll just get our own capes!